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Twinkle twinkle falling star
Oh, I wonder if you are
He who called with steady voice
Offering me one simple choice
Shall I stay or better leave?
Contemplatively I breathe

Now to bed I close my eyes
Think of you across the skies
I forgive you, now you know
My chosen path is that I go
One breath. Two breath. Three breath. Four
Eternal sleep, forevermore

Twinkle twinkle trusted friend
Take me there, to where it ends
Shining down your soft, white light
It calms me now and dulls my fright
Down below in bed I lie
With comforted heart I say goodbye
This is for the #Live-Love-Write writing prompt. I really tried to keep this one upbeat but it took a crazy left turn. the prompt is Write anything that features one or more of the following:
- a falling star
- a life-changing choice
- a mysterious phone call
- the phrase "I forgive you"
I tried to use everything in the prompt as always.

Update: A daily deviation whaaaaat!?!? I'm so excited! I've never had so many comments on one of my poems. Thanks everyone!
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2014-02-18
Lullaby Bye by gadsdy A lovely rhythm matched with a tender message. ( Featured by inknalcohol )
:iconmichaelhardcore13:
michaelhardcore13 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
How about a distant embrace?
Reply
:iconaochiro:
Aochiro Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Student

Oh gosh. I was attracted to the title and what the preview showed "Hey this sounds like a nursery rhyme!" and clicked on it.

It's soo much better than what I was expecting. I didn't know this was even a DD but after I read it, now I know.

Beautiful poem~ Clap 

Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014
Thank you!
Reply
:iconaochiro:
Aochiro Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Student
Love 
Reply
:icondrako8045:
drako8045 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
most beautiful song/poem ever
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
Thanks!
Reply
:icondrako8045:
drako8045 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
no,thank you
Reply
:iconhershiekiss:
HershieKiss Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh my gosh!!! This is absolutely gorgeous! Its no wonder you got a daily deviation ~! Very well done!
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
Thank you!
Reply
:iconjazzieiest:
Jazzieiest Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
This is....I just can't even put in words how great this is :)
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thanks very much!
Reply
:iconjazzieiest:
Jazzieiest Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
You're very welcome! Keep up the good work love :)
Reply
:iconlittlemisspagan:
Littlemisspagan Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Wow, it's a really beautiful poem.
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thank you!
Reply
:iconlittlemisspagan:
Littlemisspagan Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014
:D
Reply
:iconlotusdragonof5000:
LotusDragonof5000 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Wow....That was some strong stuff!
(Congrats on the DD!)
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thanks!
Reply
:iconpokerose:
PokeRose Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful... And deserving of a DD! :D
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thanks!
Reply
:iconpokerose:
PokeRose Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:icondallmann:
Dallmann Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
Such a lovely poem!
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thank you!
Reply
:iconwinxgogo121:
winxgogo121 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Very beautiful x
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thank you!
Reply
:iconpoeticlotuscreations:
PoeticLotusCreations Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow! This is a great play on Twinkle Twinkle!  Congrats on the DD! It is well deserved!
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thank you!
Reply
:iconpoeticlotuscreations:
PoeticLotusCreations Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure, hon!Happy Bunny 1 - Beemote 
Reply
:iconmightymorphinpower4:
MightyMorphinPower4 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
it also a twist
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thanks.
Reply
:iconmightymorphinpower4:
MightyMorphinPower4 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Aw I really like that song
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Me too!
Reply
:iconanticodac:
anticodac Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Fantastic Poem. Some of the words feel slightly out of place in my opinion ( like contemplatively or comforted), but that might be just me.

But either way, this is absolutely amazing. For such a short poem, so much is portrayed.
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thanks! I always enjoy constructive criticism.
Reply
:iconanticodac:
anticodac Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're absolutely welcome :D 
Reply
:iconchinzapep:
ChinZaPep Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Student Digital Artist
This is really pretty!! QOQ
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thanks!
Reply
:iconchinzapep:
ChinZaPep Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Mmhm!!!
Reply
:iconc-blaze21:
C-blaze21 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Now that's quite the twist on the classic lullaby. 
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thanks.
Reply
:iconinfinitemirror:
InfiniteMirror Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014

I'm trying to sing it but "comforted" on the last line throws it off. I try to find another word synonymous to it, but that only pisses me off more -_-


Still, beautiful poem.

Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thanks
Reply
:iconinfinitemirror:
InfiniteMirror Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014
Anytime :D
Reply
:iconforwardflung:
Forwardflung Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014   General Artist
Lousy.
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Aw
Reply
:iconsakpalamey:
sakpalamey Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You did a good job by keeping the words simple and syllables short. Each line speaks for itself, not too overpowering, and brilliantly balanced rhyme scheme. Loved it. Can't figure out why, but reminds of Carnival of rust. Strange, ain't it?
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thank you! I appreciate the feedback?
Reply
:iconaki-san24:
Aki-san24 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I like it. Well written! :D
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thanks!
Reply
:iconmirrorballsu:
mirrorballsu Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
an exquisite and comforting suicide note. to a lover or a mother perhaps. I think it could comfort my friend who is grieving for her son. whose choice was to go.... thank you
Reply
:icongadsdy:
gadsdy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thank you for appreciating my work.
Reply
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